Thursday, January 13, 2011

Blog Banter 24: Multiple Personality Disorder

Welcome to the twenty-fourth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week or so to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to Check for other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

This month's Banter topic comes to us from the ever helpful Eelis Kiy, capsuleer behind the "Where the frack is my ship" blog. She asks: How does your real life personality compare to who you are as a character in EVE? Does a good leader of people in the real world make a good leader of pilots in game? Or vice-versa? Do your real-life skills help you with the roles you fulfill in your corporation or alliance? Or do you behave completely differently? Does the anonymity of the Internet allow you to thrive on the tears of others in New Eden whilst you work as a good Samaritan away from your keyboard? Or are you as mean outside of your pod as you are inside it? Have experiences in EVE Online affected your behavior, skills or attitudes outside of the game?

The first time I wrote this, I was pretty matter of fact about how I was the same person in and out of EVE, and that like me most people are also.

I was a different person then. Probably unlike most capsuleers, I undergo regular sleep deprivation, which, if I may be so bold, drastically changes who you are when you are tired.

As a capsuleer, I find myself bold, daring, taking risks that any regular person would see as completely unreasonable at best. I attack others without provocation, steal, lie, and team up with others of the same caliber to engage in higher profile actions of that sort. I'm outspoken, a man of action, unrepentant when I break rules and doing anything to succeed.

As a regular human on earth, I am only this way when either extremely tired or exceedingly well rested. The first case happens occasionally, maybe one weekend a month, the latter happens rarely enough that I can count months between the instances. By and large, I am exhausted, but not so exhausted as to be my capsuleer self on Earth.

As a regular human, I'm rather introverted. Not shy, just uncaring. I don't have the mental resolve to deal with people. I go about my day, do my business, and keep to myself because that is what keeps me from being angry, and when it succeeds I can even be quite happy at points. It's because I'm so tired that I am angry and want nothing more than to be left alone.

That said, even when I am this normal (to me) amount of tired, I change when I hit EVE. I go back to the capsuleer I described above. I think a psychiatrist would label this as near Multiple Personality Disorder.

The problem is that in case, it isn't a disorder: it's a coping strategy. It enables me to cope with the harsh realities of EVE and Earth at the same time, vent, rage, fulfill desires I could never fulfill on Earth and not be hunted down and despised by everyone.

So how has EVE affected my life? For the better really. Without EVE, I'm sure I would have found another way to vent and everything else, but EVE is fun where perhaps some other things would be less so. When I'm not feeling up to Earth-life, I can escape to EVE, and when I'm not feeling up to EVE-life, I can escape to Earth. Perhaps it's a bit sad constantly escaping from one world into the next, but it works for me, keeps me sane, and provides me much enjoyment. I wouldn't say EVE has majorly affected my behavior however. I still take the same risks in real life as I always did, and do the same things.

It's a clear cut case of being a functional fruit-loop.

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