Entry: eight hundred fifty-nine.
I, for the longest time, was a useless grunt. A knuckledragger. An uninspired, uncharismatic, fearful sheep. For the longest time, this was me when it came to combat. I would NEVER do anything by myself, and I would NEVER start a fleet. As I said, I was a little person, someone to be stepped on, used, and be happy about it.
It's not often in my short time as a capsuleer that I've had the courage to act alone or be a leader, and when I did it was only because everyone else was either too apathetic or too scared to do so themselves. That is, until recently.
So often since starting this life, I've heard "You can't do this because of these reasons." So often I've heard, "You can't go attack them! They have more people!". "Solo and small gang PvP is dead", "Your fit is retarded and will never work", and "Stop feeding them kills" were also familiar mantras. They weren't said by people who understood what was going on, only by the other sheep higher in the pecking order.
Until I started listening to and absorbing the knowledge bombs dropped in "Bringing Solo Back" by Kil2 and Kovorix, and watching and learning from Sard Caid's stream, I had literally never started a fleet and never took on any important role in any fleet. I had never participated in small gang PvP that I was aware of at the time, and would simply carebear or ship spin while waiting for a fleet to go up.
Their careless courage has affected me in a profound way, changing me into something more resembling their caliber of pilot. Often they will go out alone if they can't or don't want to be part of a fleet, and regardless of winning or losing a fight, and if they do partake of a fleet, often they are the commanders and nearly never second guess themselves, emitting an air of pure authority and confidence.
I've learned to become more like them, something I'd always wanted but was never able to do for whatever reason. For that, they have my eternal gratitude for breaking the barrier that was holding me back.
I strongly recommend, for anyone wanting to break past the barrier of fear and peer pressure, to learn how to fight, to learn how to win and how to lose, to learn to lead...go check out "Bringing Solo Back" and go check out Sard Caid's stream and archived sessions.
You will not regret it.
Computer: terminate recording.